"That's The Catch!"

If we, indeed, have a generation called BabyBoomers, we must be on a Boom to Doom cycle. I read recently that, although Boomers represent literally trillions of dollars in equity and whatever that would equate to in spend-able income, the giant advertising and marketing agencies largely overlook us. Actually, more money is spent on something called the “demographics of the 18-30 age- bracket” than on capturing our purchasing potential.

That strikes me as interesting. I can’t mention in numbers how many families I know with children, who are still trying to get the shits out of their house. No kidding, anyone have a 24 year-old still trying to get mommy’s milk? Hell, I have one friend who returned to his parents at the age of 35. I think he preferred it there as opposed to living with his wife; his mother let him stay up later.

I was a good kid in a bad neighborhood; got “A’s” in school (when they still had “A’s”), didn’t get arrested too often, never got caught smoking pot—hell, I was perfect! When I got out of the Army I had the opportunity, thanks to the State of Pennsylvania, to coast for a few months on Unemployment Compensation. It was the State’s way of saying “ Thank You” for giving up 3 years of my life, and a good idea at that! Well, anyway, I stayed with my parents for less than 1 month. One morning my father pulled me aside and handed to me a copy of the local newspaper prominently featuring the “ Want Ads.”

“If I were you,” he advised, “I’d go out and get one of these jobs.” (He had taken the time to circle several “ help-wanted” notices.)

It finally dawned on me, and I queried, “ Dad, you’re not throwing me out of our house, are you?”

“ Oh, no,” he replied. “ I’m throwing you out of my house.”

Well, the point was understood; I took a job and left all that free money on the table because- no kiddin’- he would have thrown my ass on the streets, discharge papers and all!

So, we have all this money—trillions, wasn’t it—and our kids are still peeing in our toilets and waiting for mom to iron their shirts?

We sure outsmarted them, didn’t we?


§ I heard some report on T.V. that other than Osama, the bin-Laden family is straight and has many ties to the U.S., especially in investments like the Stock Market. This report (and I’m sorry I can’t remember its origin) mentioned that their investments were far-reaching and even included stock in the Disney Company. No wonder we can’t find the Bastard. No one has checked the Magic Kingdom!

§ I just finished spending about a billion dollars with a Periodontist. Actually, he talked me into a tooth implant that cost 4 grand. Ironically, the very next day I had an appointment with my Internist to discuss the results of my recent blood test. Well, based on the results of everything he had looked at, his advise was that I limit or eliminate meat from my diet and consume more fiber. So, for $4,000 I got a tooth that I can only use on Metamucil. Go figure!

Billy P.