I suppose there is a lot to be said for the ability and willingness to work hard. I just can’t, for the life of me, think of anything to say at the present time or, for that matter, over the last 61 years of my existence, to justify that concept.
Hard work has all the attraction of the Plague, as far as I am concerned. I’d rather suck your nose when you have a head cold than work an over-time day. And you can keep the time and one-half pay, too!
Now I realize I’m stepping all over a cornerstone of our American heritage and the entire concept that has propelled our nation and our people to be whatever it is that we are today. I mean, dream what you will and then give it all you got—and then some—is the avenue we travel to reach our goals and successes, right? And all those who have traveled this path, reached great heights and attained great achievements are people to be admired—even venerated!
We even have created our own measuring stick to judge how successful these efforts are for those who choose to follow this path; how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, what kind of clothes you wear, how many bedrooms you have in your primary house—and, of course, the vacation home, cabin, or time-share—have all become accepted standards of success for our American way of thinking.
So, what do you think! Am I pushing the button a little to far to start a pro-indolence campaign?
Indolence is universally defined as “inactivity resulting from a dislike of work.”
It is a relative to the word “sloth” which has a similar meaning which is to have a “disinclination to work or exert oneself.”
Now I know that I’m not real smart. If you had taken my grade point average at Penn State University and added them individually for the 3 terms I attended, the total wouldn’t have been 1.0! I even flunk “ Gym.” So I’m an Alum-Bum—sue me!
In my lifetime, I have had three idols: Abraham Lincoln, Alfred E. Neumann, and Maynard G. Krebs.
Maynard G. Krebs, of “Dobie Gillis” fame, is my all-time “do nothing hero.” If fact, anytime anyone mentioned the word work, he would go into a hysterical frenzy and shout out W-O-R-K as if he had just been kick in the ass by a mule!
But by its definition—“a disinclination to work”—it doesn’t suggest that an indolent person is doing nothing. Even Maynard used to go down the street and watch the guys “knock down the old Endicott Building.” He did that for the 3 or 4 years the show was in production. When he was really bored, he went to the Bijou to watch a triple-feature: “ The Monster Who Devoured Cleveland,” The Son Of The Monster Who Devoured Cleveland,” and “The Son-Of-The-Son Of The Monster Who Devoured Cleveland.”
As usual, I handed this issue over to our staff of experts to examine, and suggest, a possible pro-active, indolent path for all of you to follow:
§ If you any ties to Christianity, forget it! Christians hate lazy people more than an abortionist who works for tips. Ever heard of the “Seven Deadly Sins”? You guessed it, Sloth, right up there in the winner’s circle. If you are indolent and absolutely, positively must have a religion, may I suggest becoming a “Left-Handed Tantrist.”? They can do anything they want and don’t have to confess.
§ Make certain that the use of the word is indolent-- not impotent! Lazy doesn’t mean you can’t have sex on your back.
§ Tell every workaholic you encounter to go kiss your ass! Much of America works its butt off to come up with ways to do everything—from eating to calculating—fast and simple. What’s the logic of working like hell to invent all these short cut products, and then not spend the time to enjoy them?
§ And while on the subject of short cuts—never have sex with your eyes closed. It goes, or cums—depending how you look at it—too fast!
§ If you want to make a living doing nothing, get a job with the government. It’s the only place on Earth where you can stand around and people will think you are working.
§ As difficult as it may be to believe, it is possible to survive in this life without a cell phone or computer. The Sodomites proved it.
§ An indolent person can be quite happy with his/hers sexual, self-gratification. An ambitious or driven person seeks conquest, which invites rejection. This is a definite risk of one’s self-esteem.
Lastly, I always recommend that all my thousands of readers should not pay attention to a single word that I write.
So listen to someone else:
“Hard work never killed anybody; but I figure, why take the chance.”
… Ronald Reagan
Excuse me; I have to get in my recliner.
Billy P.
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